The Power of Forgiveness: A Path to Inner Peace
—Written by Felicia Brown-Grinstead MS BS CADC II-CA | July 9, 2025
Founder of Discarded By Society
I think many of us can relate to feelings of hurt, betrayal, and being belittled. There have been countless moments in my life where I’ve faced situations that challenged my capacity for forgiveness. It's essential to recognize that these experiences, while painful, offer us a chance to reflect on our values and the power we hold in choosing how to respond. In acknowledging our struggles, we pave the way for healing and personal growth. Let us remember that embracing forgiveness, even when it feels difficult, can ultimately cleanse us from the weight of negative experiences.
Forgiveness… Just the word itself can stir up all kinds of emotional states--memories of pain, betrayal, anger, regret, shame, guilt, just pick one. We are told we should forgive, but no one ever seems to explain how. Forgiveness is one of the most intense acts a person can undertake, yet it’s often misconstrued or misunderstood as a sign of surrender or weakness. The irony of that misconstrued thought is that forgiveness is a courageous choice—a deliberate step toward healing, freedom, and personal growth. It’s not about excusing harmful behavior or erasing the past, but about reclaiming your power, peace of mind, and refusing to allow resentment, and the act of others to control and define your life.
In this blog, we will explore why forgiveness matters, how it transforms us, and practical ways to embrace it. I know to myself that I have on occasion, intentionally and unintentionally caused emotional hurt to others. I do my best to not intentionally say or do anything that will cause someone else to hurt or feel bad. We will discuss making others feel some type of way in another blog—but there are times that I have allowed my emotions to get the best of me and say some mean hurtful stuff.
What Forgiveness Really Means
At its core, forgiveness is about letting go of emotional weight that ties us to pain. It’s not about condoning what someone did, pretending that it didn’t hurt, or convincing ourselves that someone’s bad behavior and the negative outcome(s) associated with it, is our fault. For example, someone might believe that they are responsible for their partner’s overdose because they weren’t there to stop it. Forgiveness is a conscious decision to release the anger, vengeance, or bitterness that keeps us tied to a moment in time, or a person that continues to control our emotions— consuming our thoughts, if we allow unforgiveness to reign. Forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation; there are times, it’s about setting boundaries while freeing oneself from the burden of nursing a grudge.
Forgiveness isn’t always directed toward someone. As mentioned earlier, it can be a self-directed production, meaning one can direct unforgiveness inward towards self for mistakes made. Both inward and outward unforgiveness can be equally potent and frequently intertwined.
Why Forgiveness Is Hard
Let’s face it, forgiving someone who wronged us is not an easy thing to do. It can feel like justice was not served, that they got away with something horrible, or selling out one’s own pain. Not forgiving someone can feel like protection, a shield, that we are somehow holding them responsible for what they have done to us in the form of anger or resentment. It can create feelings of justification. In actuality, all it does is give the person that we are mad at continued control over our thoughts, feelings, behavior, reactions, and emotions. It is emotionally draining, it drains our energy, keeps us stuck in a cycle of negativity, and clouds our perspective
The Transformative Power of Forgiveness
When we choose to forgive, we unlock a cascade of benefits for our mental, emotional, and even physical well-being here's how:
1. Emotional Freedom: Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer I've heard that saying many times. Forgiveness cuts the toxic tie, allowing us to reclaim our emotional space for joy, creativity, and connection.
2. Improved Relationships: Forgiveness fosters empathy and understanding which can strengthen bonds with others even if reconciliation isn't possible practicing forgiveness softens your heart making you more open to healthy relationships in the future.
3. Personal Growth: Forgiveness requires self-reflection and emotional maturity. Both self-reflection and emotional maturity create actionable steps toward becoming a more compassionate grounded version of yourself.
How to Practice Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a journey, not a one-time event. It’s okay if it takes time or feels messy. Here are some practical steps to guide you:
Acknowledge the Pain: Start by being honest about how you feel. Name the hurt, whether it’s anger, betrayal, or disappointment. Suppressing your emotions only buries them deeper.
DISCLAIMER: The content on this blog is provided for general informational and inspirational purposes only and does not constitute professional psychological, therapeutic, medical, or legal advice. It is not intended to replace or serve as a substitute for professional counseling, therapy, or mental health treatment from a licensed professional. If you are experiencing emotional distress, unresolved trauma, mental health concerns, or any other issues requiring professional support, please call 988, consult a qualified therapist, counselor, psychologist, or healthcare provider for personalized guidance and care. This blog is the expressed opinion of the author.
Choose Compassion: Forgiveness is an act of compassion, for yourself and others. Remind yourself that holding onto anger hurts you more than anyone else. Choose to prioritize your peace.
Set Boundaries: Forgiving doesn’t mean inviting harm back into your life. If someone’s behavior is toxic, establish clear boundaries to protect yourself while still letting go of resentment.
Practice Self-Forgiveness: Reflect on your own mistakes with kindness. Ask yourself, “What would I say to a friend who made this mistake?” Offer yourself the same grace.
Write It Out: Journaling can be a powerful tool. Write a letter to the person who hurt you (you don’t have to send it) or to yourself, expressing your feelings and your intention to forgive.
Seek Support: If forgiveness feels overwhelming, talk to a trusted friend, therapist, or mentor. Sharing your journey can provide clarity and encouragement.
Forgiveness as a Lifelong Practice
Forgiveness isn’t a destination; it’s a practice that evolves with time. Some wounds may require repeated efforts to fully release, and that’s okay. Each step forward is a victory—a testament to your strength and commitment to your own well-being.
In a world that often glorifies retribution and holding grudges, choosing forgiveness is a radical act of courage. It’s a gift you give yourself, a way to break free from the past and step into a future unburdened by pain. Whether you’re forgiving a friend, a family member, a stranger, or yourself, the act of letting go opens the door to a lighter, more peaceful heart.
So, take a deep breath, and ask yourself: What’s one small step I can take toward forgiveness today? The answer might just change your life.
*FURTHER READING AND RESOURCES
*The Book of Forgiving* by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu: A guide to the fourfold path of forgiveness.
- Greater Good Science Center (greatergood.berkeley.edu): Practical tips and research on forgiveness.
- “Self-Forgiveness: The Stepchild of Forgiveness Research” by Hall & Fincham (2005): Insights on forgiving yourself
—Worthington, E. L., Jr., Griffin, B. J., & Toussaint, L. L. (2015). Forgiveness and health: Review and reflections on a matter of faith, feelings, and physiology. Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 38(3), 482–493.
-Luskin, F. (2002). Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness. HarperSanFrancisco.
DISCLAIMER: The content on this blog is provided for general informational and inspirational purposes only and does not constitute professional psychological, therapeutic, medical, or legal advice. It is not intended to replace or serve as a substitute for professional counseling, therapy, or mental health treatment from a licensed professional. If you are experiencing emotional distress, unresolved trauma, mental health concerns, or any other issues requiring professional support, please call 988, consult a qualified therapist, counselor, psychologist, or healthcare provider for personalized guidance and care. The author and publisher of this blog make no representations or warranties regarding the accuracy, completeness, or applicability of the information provided. Any reliance on the content is at your own risk. The author and publisher shall not be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential damages arising from the use of, or inability to use, the information on this blog. By reading or engaging with this content, you acknowledge that it is not a substitute for professional advice and that you are responsible for seeking appropriate professional assistance as needed. This blog is the expressed opinion of the author.